Why can I never sleep?
The only other person I can think of who might share this problem is @ilsathejoe ..but she’s just preparing for a zombie apocalypse. There was a zombie following me home from sculpture class today (really he was a schizophrenic homeless man) and I found myself wondering WWID? What would Ilsa do. My mind then flashed to Lauren and I immediately started speed walking like the 8am grandmas at the mall, at which point the man called me an asshole. Shit started to get real so I called a friend then peed myself in relief when a group of bros turned onto the street all fratted out. Idk if it was the plaid shorts, boat shoes or bro demeanor that scared him away but I guess I’ll never know. A bro saved my life. So chill.
my baby is going to be this funny.
I was serious.
hes pissed
i do this every. day.
Source: 
sadly, what the dog said are exact things that i have said.
me, as a hampster.
something i would do. Play a joke of course, not cook the baby.
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